Open Adoption

Did you know that open adoption is the most widely practiced form of adoption throughout the United States? Open adoption means full disclosure; birthparents and adoptive parents share full identifying information, and establish and maintain an agreed upon relationship before and after the child is born.

A very cool fact – the Executive Director of IAC, Katherine Silber, is a pioneer and leading expert on open adoption. Open adoption started in the early 1980’s. History and factual buffs can read the history behind open adoption here.

History Of Open Adoption

When we first researched adoption after our failed fertility treatments, we were not 100% sold on the idea of open adoption. We thought it would be intrusive and honestly strange, to have a birthmom (or parents) involved in our child’s life. But, the more we learned and grew in the years since our first meeting with IAC, we see how open adoption is the best solution for all members in the adoption triad. It’s human nature to want to know your biological parents, roots, and why you were given up for adoption. Searching for these answers is normal. It doesn’t matter that we’ll love our child with all our hearts, or do anything to give them they beautiful life they deserve. We will not be able to remove the innate questions of why they are a product of adoption.

Open adoption means the birthmom (parents) will always be part of our family. Does this mean, we will spend holidays together and share Sunday dinners? No. It means that after birth communications parameters are set (this will be agreed upon between us and the birthmom,) our child will be able to ask their biological mom these tough questions. Maybe the birthmom will be available to speak to them when they’re older, or send letters to the child to read when they reach a certain age.  We will also be informed to communicate straight facts to our child, instead of unknown or half-known truths.

Open adoption also proves extremely beneficial to the birthmom (parents.) They are able to participate in a plan for their child and not feel like they are just abandoning him/her. It’s the goal and benefit of open adoption to help the birthmom work through her feelings of grief easier and quicker.

While open adoption may not be for everyone, we’re confident it’s the right path to getting our child. We will feel so honored when we are selected by a birthmom and we’ll never take for granted the beautiful gift she’s giving us. We promise to always respect her and our agreed upon boundaries, and forever remind our child that her decision was made out of love.